Divorce becomes contentious for several reasons. Often times, these reasons center around children, property, and emotions. One of the easiest ways you can reduce the strain that will inevitably create on both you, your children, and your soon to be ex is to take three preventative measures.
Keep a Regular Updated Inventory of Your Home Assets
Keeping a household inventory has many benefits outside of a potential divorce. However, this doesn’t mean that it isn’t incredibly useful if it turns out that you and your spouse need to go separate ways. By keeping and maintaining an inventory of your possessions, you both can sit down and talk with clarity about what falls into the marital pot. Most couples just speak in generalities, and these generalities lead to miscommunications. These miscommunications then lead to even bigger fights and blow ups as both feel like the other is trying to cheat.
Additionally, you can submit the reports of your assets from Asset Panda to your attorney and possibly even to the court. This is useful when it comes time to divide up the property if you and your spouse have not already done so. Most states look at all of the value of the marital property in an attempt to provide an equitable distribution. This is much easier when there are black and white numbers and descriptions of the household inventory than when it’s just statements like “furniture we got at a garage sale, a cast iron coffee table, and some books from my mother.”
Asset Panda has room for the precise value of the items in your home as well as for any relevant pieces of information about repairs or upgrades. This is also important for ensuring that the marital property split is equitable. Just make sure that you note what was yours before you came into the marriage if your state excludes such property. The software is also useful if you have property in multiple states as remembering where everything is can be tricky.
Consider a Reconciliation Agreement
A new trend in couples preparing for divorce is to seek out an attorney who will draft a reconciliation agreement for them. The reconciliation agreement is an agreement to seek out counseling. However, it also includes other key terms about how things should proceed if the separation goes through. Where the children will go, who gets what property, and the like are often included in general terms in the reconciliation agreement with a provision for what will happen if you decide to get back together.
The benefit of a reconciliation agreement is that it will allow you both to step back and evaluate the situation. It also helps you to get matters put into better order than they would be if you flung yourself headlong into a no faults divorce. You can simplify it even more by incorporating the home inventory of your household possessions.
Avoid Inflammation and Escalation
This one is probably the easiest said and the hardest done. However, one of the best ways that you can ease a potential divorce proceeding is to avoid using inflammatory language and escalating the situations. While this may be frustrating and you may feel as if you are being taken advantage of, always check your temper and your words to make sure that what you add will benefit the situation rather than make it worse. If you need to get a neutral third party, then get someone else in there to help deal with the drama, but don’t take your cue from Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” or “Two Black Cadillacs.”